I’m Dan. I’m a writer.

I’ve written for comedy outlets like The Onion, McSweeney’s, and Click Hole, while also having built a sizable following for myself on social media.

My debut novel, I Am Not A Wolf was released in May of 2021 by Andrews McMeel. It was named one of New York Magazine's funniest books of 2021.

In addition to my comedy, I’ve written fantasy short stories for Magic: The Gathering as well as a great deal of personal essays and opinion pieces for my popular newsletter, Brain Worms.

My literary agent is Maria Massie at Massie & McQuilkin Literary Agency

If you’re looking for more information regarding who I am and what I do, I have incredible news for you: that’s the only reason this website is here.