I’m Dan.

I’m a Chicago based writer of books and games.

My career started back in 2014 with the creation of the social media personality NOT A WOLF. My first book, I AM NOT A WOLF, was a work of comedic fiction about about that character, a wolf pretending to be a man in a dead-end office job. It was published by Andrews McMeel in 2021 and was received quite warmly, being named in New York Magazine's "Best of 2021” coverage.

My longer form writing has appeared in publications like Playboy, Rolling Stone, and Pitchfork. I've done some worldbuilding game design for the beloved card game Magic: The Gathering, having contributed both to creative text game design and narrative worldbuilding.

I’ve written for The Onion since 2017, with my main beat being American Voices. You know the ones with these guys? I wrote a ton of those. I've also appeared on television shows like The Late Late Show With James Corden and co-founded the Chicago shame-based storytelling juggernaut, We Still Like You.

If you're not familiar with any of that, you've probably just seen a lot of aging screenshots of my tweets reposted on reddit and know me for stuff like coining the phrase "luxury bones".

No matter how you got here, it's nice to see you.